Ever toss and turn at night even though you spent 2000 dollars on a memory foam mattress?
Scared to try sleeping aid for fear of being too knocked out to be awoken in an emergency? Or just scared you may fall victim to sleep driving?
Well your friend Jason is here for you. With my patent pending Sandman Sleep System.
The Sandman Sleep System is a bedding system that allows the user to set the amount of sleep and wake up on cue without fail. And it works simple. As seen above, the bed is situated under atomizers that are connected to tanks of Chloroform and Smelling Salts. The atomizers are triggered by an computer controlled valve.
The computer is able to be set for for a time to sleep and a time to wake. Also, to maintain safety the computer is networked with the Smoke Alarm, Carbon Monoxide Alarm, and Radon Alarm. If any of these alarms are activated the Sandman Sleep System will automatically wake the user up immediately. Also, networked is the security alarm, just that if a break-in happens the user will again be woken up immediately. The computer will have an 8-hour battery back-up system.
So, in the past 4 years I have only been to a theater once. For some reason my friends feel that is the 8th deadly sin. Blockbuster movies, like “The Dark Knight” and more recently “Avatar”, have not been view by my eyes. When people heard this they are near offended. How dare I not go throw money at AMC (or your local theater) to see a movie. They call me a movie snob. And my 2 or 3 readers, I am. I don’t care that just because a movie cost millions to make and made billions in the box office. I don’t care if it won 40 Oscars, Golden Globes, or MTV Movie awards. Rarely do I even care who is even in the movie. And to be honest of all my top 10 favorite movie, I’ve only seen 1 in the theater. I’m sure you’re asking what do I care about when it comes to seeing a movie at the theater.
Well first, let me say for me to like a movie it has to be more than just special effects. It has to be more than explosions and destruction. I’m a person who demands thoughtful directing. “Thoughtful directing” What the hell? Well I don’t want a movie that is like a taped play. Movies that fall into this category is usually are Romantic Comedies. Its usually a story with no flashy visual, mostly dialogue and a few comedic situations. So, RomComs are out the window.
Now, another requirement for movies is that I don’t really care for happy endings. Now, before you boo and hiss and call me a cold-hearted monster (please hold your complements for the end), understand I don’t hate happy endings. I hate how every damn movie these days, have happy endings. Of my top 10 movies, only 1 has a happy ending (L4yer Cake). But that movie offers something else.
That something else is ambiguity. Most movies these days the viewer has pretty much a good idea of what’s going on in the movie by the end. Now, I’m sure there are some of you going, “why would you want to see a money where you don’t know what’s going on?” Well, I like to use my brain. The main goal of me embracing media is to simulate my brain. If I’m watching a TV show and my brain isn’t working… click. I’ve I hear a song and my brain isn’t working... next track. As for movies, if I’m in a theater I can’t really change the channel. And I can’t walk out after I’ve paid money to get in.
So, that’s a few reason on why I don’t go to theaters based on actual movie content. Now, let me get into the other reason why I don’t like going to theaters. Atmosphere. Now don’t get me wrong If had access to watch TV and movies on an 11 foot High Def screen with 30 speakers in Dolby Digital 7.1 I would never leave. But the problem is other people. I don’t think I’ve been to a movie where audience didn’t piss me off in some form or another.
Am I the only person who has gone to a movie with someone and this someone has a problem following a story and constantly asks questions? “Why did he do that?” “What was that mean?” Nothing irks me more than trying to watch something and people ask me questions. Especially when if you were paying attention you would know. Like I’m trying to watch and listen to the movie, not catch up other people. I didn’t pay X amount of dollars to be the official narrator.
Another thing I loathe about theater audiences is the people who over emote. For instance something was funny. And they are still laughing loudly minutes after. Or they will lean over and say, “Oh man that was funny.” Oh really? Not only is that irritating and distracting, but usually they make it so the dialogue is being drowned out.
Then there are the people who have seen the movie before and are doing like a DVD commentary. “Oh man this is the funny part watch this.” Or “Did you know that’s not a stunt double?” SHUT UP! I feel I am intelligent to know when a scene is funny. I will not miss a joke, without your constant prompting.
How about these people who have no business being there. Few examples.. I saw a horror movie a few years back. And there was a kid no older than 7 there. This movie was very gory and visually intense. Needless to say, there was non stop screaming and crying. Now if you think your kid is mature enough at that age for that then fine. But if he is screaming,”MOMMY,” you need to take him out. Not tell him to shush. Another are the people who don’t have an interest in the movie and just trash the movie out loud (emphasis on loud). “That’s dumb! This would never happen in real life.” Like did this person really just spend money to bash a movie?
Now if I think that I’m going to get a great movie, ripe for my tastes, and an audience that’s 100% silent during the movie for me, then maybe I’ll consider going. Otherwise, I’m just going to wait until the network TV debut. Any movie worth paying money to see should be worth waiting a few years to see. At least I think so.
So, now that another NFL season has closed and 12 fan bases are gearing up for the playoffs, people around the country who aren't part of those fan bases have a lot to say. DISCLAIMER: I live in western PA so the Steelers are the topic I'm flooded with the most. Therefore I will talk about them in this post the most. This has nothing to do with my seething hatred for the city of Pittsburgh. So, that being said let's talk about the whining and acceptance of Steeler nation.
The Steelers had their chance to get into the playoffs. They needed first to win against the Dolphins. Then they needed 3 teams to lose (Baltimore, Denver , and New York Jets). Outside shot of course but none the less they had a shot. Now, in comes the issue; Steelers linebacker, LaMarr Woodley, claimed that teams will intentionally lose games to keep the Steelers out of the playoffs. Now, all this may be is fodder for Steeler Nation to claim conspiracy for the reasons why they didn't get into the playoffs. But the bigger question emerges, should teams who have wrapped up the playoff spot sit their stars or play them?
Let's look at the Colts. On the verge of a perfect regular season, sits their stars in a game early. They would end up losing the game, and their quest for a perfect season. Some people chastise the Colts head coach Jim Caldwell for pulling the starters and not pushing for a perfect season. But be real people. If Peyton Manning got injured in that game and he missed any playoff games that would be a real problem. If any of the teams starters got hurt that not only takes him out of the game but it shortens the depth of the team at that position.
Moving along to the Bungles (Bengals). They pretty much rolled over to the Jets last night (1/3/10). Win or lose the Bengals would have a home game next week against a wild card team. While the Jets on the other hand was playing for the last playoff spot. On top of that it was the home game in Giants' Stadium. Who had the greater motivation?
The problem some fans have is that some teams benefit from late season lethargy, while other teams lose out. If the Bengals won that game the Texans take that last playoff spot from the Jets. So, some fans down in Houston may have some bitter feelings. Which may be compounded by the fact the Jets were the team that beat the Colts last week. To some it may seem the Jets benefited from two teams that really had nothing to play for. Some people see some unfairness in this and suggest seeding should be done differently.
I've heard points system, where wins in the end of the season count for more than the beginning. I've heard and NCAA basketball selection committee style system. I've heard of docking or giving teams draft picks based on end of the season performance. But in my opinion these are just systems to excuse losses. The system in place is perfect. Win the games you need to win.
Having a selection committee chose seedings isn't feasible with a 12 team bracket. The only reason it works in College Basketball is because there are so many and diverse programs and theres 65 tourney spots (and there is talk of adding more). Two teams with the same record and have no common ground must be looked at and decided by a 'neutral' party (neutral in quotes because I'm sure program prestige comes into play).
Having a season points system with early wins meaning less than late ones only devalues early season games. This really makes them glorified pre-season games. Also, this complicates scheduling. Each team will have to play equal number of early and late season games at home. Each team has to play all division games in the same part of of the season. And it doesn't really solve the problem. If teams are dominate enough they can still afford to rest the last week (and we a back where we started).
Docking teams or rewarding teams for late season win is the worst idea yet. If I were a coach I'd plan to win the Super Bowl and then worry about next season. Plus, the better a team is the further they fall in the draft order. Plus, where do these docked drafts go? Does it mean that few players are selected in the draft? Are they awarded to other teams? If so then who and how are they selected?
As a football fan at the start of the season there is only 1 goal: WIN THE SUPER BOWL! Not have a perfect season. Let's face it only 1 out of 2 teams that won all regular season games have won the Super Bowl. I will take 8-8 squeaking into the playoffs and win the Super Bowl, than go 16-0 and lose it.
Win the games you need to win. Meaning: get a playoff spot, get a divisional championship, get a first round bye, get home field advantage. After that many wins there is nothing more to gain. Except risk of injury, exposing your game plans. "You play to win the game", isn't a quote I agree with. I'd say you play to win the Super Bowl.
Sex is one of the basic functions for animals. The passing on of genes is important to most animals in the worlds. Some animals kill the offspring of others to ensure their genes have a better chance of surviving. Survival of the fittest at its core. This is true until you get to us humans. We have gotten away from sex as purely procreative. This is for several reasons. One being the typical human requires much more resources. Babies have to be fed, clothed, entertained, educated, and cleaned. All those things require money and more importantly, time and energy. So, there is a limit on how many kids a man and woman can have (for the Dugans its 19). But we are built to enjoy sex at it is out primal goal to reproduce. So this brings us humans to a point where we enjoy it for the act and not always for the possible results.
Now you may have a completely different view on sex, but we have to ask ourselves a few questions. Are the people in charge of teaching your (future) children teaching them what you want them to be taught? Are their views in line with yours? Are your kids going to come away with the right (and complete) understanding of sex? Now I’m sure you’re wondering on why a mid-20’s guy with no plans to have kids in the near future is asking these questions. Well I recently read a story on CNN where a study was done on people 18-29 about their knowledge of sex. An overwhelming majority of the participants demonstrated a lack of knowledge of sex. Forty percent of the participants answered that they “didn’t feel birth controlled mattered. You get pregnant when it is ‘your time’.”
This study (which was done on single, unmarried people) found 63% of the people didn’t know about the pill, and 20% didn’t know about condoms (as much as I hate them, I know all about those things). And why would they when 18% of the men in the study thought that standing up during sex would prevent pregnancy. Maybe this is why 42% of the men admitted they were probably going to have sex within the next three months without protection. That’s 2 out of every 5 guys. Hopefully this study isn’t an accurate cross-cut of the demographic I belong to.
The article suggests that the reason is due to a lack of sexual education. I am inclined to agree with this. The people who conducted the study feel that the increase in sex-ed is the answers. They include places, like your job, which should be a place where sex-ed should be introduced. Now, this is where I begin to disagree. Sex-education as a school subject may be the problem.
First, most kids they aren’t interested in most school subjects. School is a “drag” (I feel old saying that). But more importantly there isn’t a teacher’s edition with all the answers on sex. Secondly, if this survey is any indication, teachers (especially young ones) don’t have a great knowledge on the subject as it is. Lastly, sex-ed cannot cover everything about sex.
Sex-ed as a school subject is a backwards idea. Kids in school care about getting good grades. When I was in sex-ed there wasn’t a test. So, I zoned out for the most part (I was very focused when boobies were on screen). There was no test. There was no landmark on what a child should know. And if there were test, most things dealing with sex isn’t a plain and clear cut as a multiple choice or true false questions. Now the people who are teaching our kids have a degree in something. Odds are it isn’t in sex. Most of these teachers teach from a book combined with their personal experience. Seeing on how most teaches don’t have the same sexual experiences, its very easy for kids to get mixed messages and get confused. So lets be realistic, you can’t teach everything about sex in a classroom, or the job. It’s a parent’s job.
Now that I (again) have to share space, a typical argument again rises. Having the closed captions turned on or not. Now, if it was up to me (as it should), I’d never turn them off. But I am in the vast minority in this opinion (what else is new?). I guess most people don’t like to read and watch TV. Here are some reasons why I think closed captions are one of TV’s greatest features (right under picture-in-picture).
First let me tell you how I became a lover of Closed Captions (CC). As a youngin’ I suffered (enjoyed) chronic insomnia. I don’t know what the typical bedtime for a 6 year old is, but I went to sleep at roughly 1:00 to 1:30 AM most nights (being a 1st grader doesn’t take much outta me). So, when I got a TV, of course I watched it until I went to bed having nothing better to do (6- year old nightlife isn’t as popping). But nobody likes hearing a TV blare all hours of the night (especially my mom). So, after a certain hour that TV had to be turned down low. So low, I could barely hear it. That’s when CC’s entered my life.
So, on the list of things that I’ve been doing for a long time (video games, watch Phillies, watch/play football) closed captions are up there. So, that help me explain why they are great. First, it made e a faster reader. The captions don’t stay on the screen forever. They are there just long enough to be read (gotta keep up with what’s going on). Add that on top of the fact that you can’t read and watch the actions at the same time. This made watching foreign films, and other things with subtitles much (a billion times) easier, and thus more enjoyable.
Next, captions help expose the writing of the show/movie. With TV it can be easy to focus on the actor/actress playing the role on screen. When the truth of it is that it’s the writers who make things funny or clever or sad. The actor is just the vehicle that the dialogue comes through. In 200 years, from now (IMHO) shows like the Simpsons, and Law and Order will be studied in textbooks, and English/Lit classes. Some of the “best” TV and Movies will love on. But the people who play them probably won’t. Why do I say this? Here is an example. Who wrote “The Tragedy of Romeo and Juliet”? Easy right? Most people can answer that. Who was the first Romeo or Juliet? In fact name anyone who played that role prior to 1900. Not so easy right? Let’s face it, in 50-100 years Dorothy from “The Wizard of Oz” will just be a mid-western redhead instead of Judy Garland.
Now lets stop be abstract. Captions are great because if you cannot hear the TV you can still know what going on. Last night my gf went clean crazy. So the vacuum pretty much drowned out the sound from the show I was watching. However, I didn’t miss a beat because of the captions. Captions serve a purpose and they serve it very well.
So, I watched tonights (10/28) replay of South Park. It was the episode about whaling. Stan had a problem with Japanese killing whales and dolphins. The episode was pretty funny and if you haven't seen it check it out. Now if you know anything about me you should know that I'm pretty apathetic towards animals. Dogs aren't my best friends. I get no enjoyment from watching animal planet. I personally only think that animals are only good for 2 things: food and labor. Outside of that, let nature have 'em.
Now I'll take this dog any day
Now obviously I'm not towards the general consensus in this country. This nation from my experience worships dogs like the ancient Egyptians worshiped cats. And the same can't be said for every animal. There is an animal caste system that exist. If we love and find the animal cute its at the top. If we don't like it or its served in every restaurant it at the bottom. Example: people have no problem eating chicken, but bring up the idea of eating a dog and they will be disgusted.
Now this caste system applies to many areas outside of just food. I recently found out that there is an insurance policy for pets. Now let's for a second forget that millions of Americans are on the brink of financial ruin covering their medical costs, while Fido is insured out the ass. Progressive Insurance provides for pet insurance for free when you get insurance with them.
When I looked into these policies, its not surprising that most of them only covered dogs, cats, and birds. See the problem? If your pet is not a dog, cat, or bird, you have to search harder for coverage and pay more. So, if i kept a pet mouse I'm on my own if I want to provide medical coverage for it. In the minds of most people however, mice are considered dirty animals and thus not high enough in the animal caste system to be considered "pet worthy". So, if you were inclined to insure your mouse there are less policies.
Now let's move from insurance and "pet worthy" to which animals people are sympathetic towards and which are not. Its no surprise to anyone that a dog being abuseed will upset many people. What is a surprise is that those same people will have no issues using products that are tested on animals. There is an international outrage over the practice of hunting whales and dolphins. But hunting dear, and killing cows and chicken for the same purpose is okay. I personally know a person that would kill any one who harms an animal. But has walked away while a fellow human was in need with no issue.
So, I know no matter how many arguments I can make nothing will change. I'm gonna get looked down on and demonized for lack of concern for the well-being of animals. I just want to know when and who decided what animals are worth more than another.But until then......
Now that October is upon us, I now realized that a year for me is measured from September to September. I mean its easy to see why. First, life in Penn State changed the most during the fall. New classes, new people come in, new people are gone, usually new living situation. Second, it usually when I stop making the mistake of using last year date. (ie 9/18/08). And lastly it's when baseball begins to wind down. That is it used to be when baseball begins wind down.
Before last year, I never saw playoff baseball past October 6. And even in 2007, getting swept in 3 games was rough, and near forgettable. Too be frank postseason baseball is still something I have to adjust to. For one it creates the most turbulent time sports wise. That is have 5 teams whose games I have to see. By the time the World Series starts, the Flyers will be in full swing, The Sixers will be starting up, College Football is heating up. And that's not all of it.
But this year having another "Red October" allows me to adjust to this overload of sports. Having all these sports going is actually a good thing. some "sports towns" don't have this problem. Whether, its case they don't have the 4 "major" sports teams. Some towns don't have competitive teams. Because, now the October is hear the 100+ loss season of the Nationals can be forgotten and the Capitols and Wizard hope are at an high.
